In my dream last night, an old man walked into my family’s home unannounced. My friends said he probably had Alzheimer’s and didn’t know what was going on, but I got a feeling that something was up so I went outside.

Turns out the man didn’t have Alzheimer’s, and was working with a killer to tell him the easiest way to break into my house.

I was walking out of the garage to get outside when I saw the killer sneaking in as well. I tiptoed past so he couldn’t see me, since he had an axe in his hands.

I panicked and ran outside and found my neighbor (who was really this girl, Amy, from my Films class who was for some reason in my dream???) and asked her if she had a cellphone. She said she didn’t so I started running to my other neighbor’s house to use their’s, while filling Amy in about why I needed hers in the first place.

She handed me this strange golden coin, with spikes on it, and said if I inserted this into the phone slot when I dialed 911, I could remain anonymous.

I took the coin.

So we both end up at my neighbor’s house so that I could call 911, and I tell him a murderer was in my house, but my neighbor stopped me. He said I could handle it on my own without having to involve the cops.

Here’s where things get strange.

He takes out this gigantic board; it’s so big that when he lifts it up for me to see it completely blocks his body out entirely. The board is of an outlined body, much like a gun-range target, only with a lot more ‘circled-lines’ around the body.

My neighbor then tells me to drag the coin Amy gave me across the lines.

I was confused so he grabbed the coin from me and cut a tiny bit into the board. When he cut into the ‘chest’ of the body on the cardboard with the coin, his wife developed a deep-set scar on her chest as well.

I gasped and grabbed the coin back and began slicing in circular motions. All over his chest, and face, and legs…I must’ve sliced a dozen times.

That was done and it was predicted the murderer had been killed. I thanked them all and walked back to my house but saw that Mila Kunis was walking my way.

She said something smart about ‘Do you think that’ll stop him?’ so I told her to go fuck herself and called her a cracker and other hilarious names like a boiled cauliflower bitch and this part of my dream went on for a long time to the point where looking back it was really, really ridiculous

And then an icecream truck came and I was about to buy something but then I woke up